Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family
A Book Review By Guest Blogger Southern Belle
If I could mail every new stepmom a care package, I would enclose a box of Kleenex for those first few difficult days, a new tube of pretty posy pink lip gloss to give her spirits a lift, some Dove chocolates (need I say more- it’s chocolate), and a copy of Stepcoupling
I picked up Stepcoupling
Read the rest of Southern Belle’s review HERE
Is Your Home a Homework War Zone?
An excerpt from article which appears in August’s online issue of the one and only StepMom Magazine!
August means back to school and for many stepmoms, it means HOMEWORK. If you’re feeling anxious, don’t worry; I might be able to help.
I’m a recovering pushy parent. With my daughters from my first marriage, I walked that fine line between what John Rosemond calls “monitoring” and “hovering.” As a custodial stepmom helping my husband raise The Teenager, I found myself in the deep end of the pool, hovering all over the place. I was so worried about how Junior’s mom and her entire family would see me if Junior didn’t do well in school once we transferred him to the high school in my town.
At the beginning of Junior’s sophomore year, his mother signed full custody over to my husband so that we could get him in the best school in our state. It also meant that I took on all things school. Neither of my daughters prepared me for an unmotivated, underachieving teenager. And did I mention he puts the H in ADHD and he came with an IEP (individual education plan)?
During Junior’s first quarter as a sophomore, I was Rosemond’s definition of Hovering Parent. I was in Junior’s business and chasing after him to do his homework. My home became a battle zone as soon as I walked through the door. The constant fight was exhausting and a drain on me. But somehow, Junior made the honor roll. He proved to himself and his family that yes, he could get good grades…provided he had someone poking him with a red hot stick.
As Junior entered the second quarter, I backed off. Thinking that his honor roll status and achievement would be more than enough motivation to keep at it. Boy, was I wrong!
I stopped reminding Junior to do his homework. I stopped my incessant stream of nagging. And Junior started failing. When I checked his first progress report via Edline, he was failing every class. When my husband and I brought it to Junior’s attention and asked him why, Junior proclaimed, “Peggy’s not telling me to do my homework!”
Junior was blaming me for failing. The explosion inside my head rocked me to my very core. I realized that I had made a HUGE mistake that most hovering parents make: I made Junior’s school and homework business MY business. If he was blaming me for failing, then he also attributed his success to me. He did not accept responsibility nor did he own all things school.
To read the strategy Richard and I put in place and John Rosemond’s ABC’s of homework, be sure to read August’s issue of StepMom. If you’re not yet a subscriber, you may want to read my review and ten reasons why I believe every stepmom needs this magazine in their tool box!
Other News
Check out what Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carol Marine have in the works on No One’s the Bitch – exciting stuff!
Check out Izzy Rose’s report on BlogHer 2009 (we need more blogging stepmoms there next year!)
Check out Wednesday Martin’s Blog. Wednesday is looking for stepmoms who’ve experienced physical violence from a stepchild (adult or otherwise.)
Check out Jacqueline Fletcher’s Blog and Podcasts! You’ll be glad you did!
And I recently discovered a sister stepmom in the UK – Check out La Belle Mere’s Blog – she’s very funny!
The Step Mom's Toolbox 